I desperately need something to change my life. Anything to feel better about myself. Caged in these damn responsibilities, a no end apathy, reduced to stoically accept what life throws me. Fear, pain, anxiety. It just goes downhill. Days worse than the ones before. Months, years gone too fast. Nothing happened, nothing changed. My sanity slipping away like the hope I once had. I want to do something but I don’t know what. I could start drinking and never care anymore. I could start using drugs and never look back. I could run away and leave everything behind or I could just die. Now I’m ready to die. Now I love my mother too much. She’s the only reason.