“Sometimes Ronan thought Adam was so used to the right way being painful that he doubted any path that didn’t come with agony.”

Except my life doesn’t have easy paths. Everything is always complicated and unexpected, not in a good way, never in a good way.


who would have thought 40 pills wouldn’t be enough?

2015 has been the hardest year in my life, so far. Emotionally hard and draining. 2016 hasn’t started any better and I know it’s gonna be living hell. 

I never stopped and actually thought about it. The year that has just passed has been horrible.  It had been bad in the past but nothing I could bear with. What I’m going through is making me crazy depressed. I know I’ve said before I may not be depressed. I don’t know if it’s just a phase. I only know it’s all going downhill and I cannot see a way out of it, I swear I can’t. 

 It might have all started before 2015 but it’s all coming to me now. 

Isn’t it normal to think about suicide at least once in our life, well maybe more than once?