life is hard and I’m too weak

When is enough really enough?  When do we let go? It’s always autumn in my head, in my heart. The sky is gray and cloudy and leaves are costantly falling from the trees. Some days it rains, others there’s a storm and that’s when it gets hard for me. I don’t think I could possibly be depressed, cause there’s so much more pain in the world. When I’m strong I keep telling myself it’s normal, everyone’s life is the same, everyone has their own struggles. It’s nothing a good cry can solve.  They say “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. It might not be killing me at that moment, but it leaves a scar and I have so many scars already. My whole soul is going to be covered in incurable scars, they hurt. I’m flawed. I’m broken. I’m a little bit dead everytime it happens.

I’m stressed, I’m too emotional, I’m weak. Fragile. Useless. Unimportant. I’m damned. I think I might have been someone really mean in my past life, Hitler maybe.

Really tho, when is enough really enough? When can I give up? Does it ever come the time you think there’s nothing more to hope for? A time you know you have done all you could and it didn’t change a thing? I wish there was someone who could tell me “you were good, you did amazing and now you can let go, you can stop from hurting”.

 

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