I told you I would have missed you if you had ever  left, why did you leave anyways?



September the 26th

I dreamed of you coming back to me, having you again, but then I woke up and I felt so miserable. I fell asleep again and it was you, trying to convince me how the one before was just a dream but that one, that one was reality and how everything was okay.

I feel so retarded, I’m sad. I miss you, I really do.

I watched you erasing me from your life, I acted like I didn’t care because it was something I could have died for and I acted like I was okay with it because it was ripping my heart from inside.

My first love, how it probably was just fake, how I so imaged our life together when older. My very first love, not those butterflies in your tummy, but this never-ending need of having you next to me, having you there for me, coming back from work and being able to talk to you.

I wish I could tell you how I feel, but you’re so far, you’re gone from my life already.

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you… I hate you cause I loved you so much.